The Starfish Project

The combined effort of our whole family.

Posts Tagged ‘DNR

Update on Mom #2 (5/14/09)

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I just got home from Mom and Dad’s house.  My sister, Gretchen, called this morning and said that Dad called her and wanted to have a family meeting this morning.  She said Mom was lucid and sitting on the couch with Dad.  So, Gretchen picked me up and we went over there.

I have a terrible chest cold, so Dad gave me a mask to wear while I was over there.  I really don’t want to give Mom any kind of a respiratory infection.  But, we felt that the need to have a family meeting and discuss everything that was going on was paramount.   So, I wore the mask and tried not to touch anything while I was there.

Mom looked good.  I guess she “woke up” earlier this morning.  She doesn’t remember anything about yesterday.  She doesn’t remember signing a DNR with the hospice nurse.  We didn’t even know she had signed that until the hospice nurse came out of the bedroom holding a signed DNR with Mom’s signature on it.  Well, Mom does not want a DNR and didn’t even know she had signed it.  They had given her a massive dose of liquid morphine before she signed it.  I hardly think a person is capable of making such a decision when so heavily medicated.

Anyway, we explained to her that her body isn’t dying.  She’s just sore from the draining of the pleural effusion and her arm is a little sore where the blood clot is.  But, other than that, she’s not in any pain — certainly not end-of-life pain.

We talked to her about what she wanted to do.  She said she wants to keep fighting and she doesn’t want to be doped up anymore.  So, we were very glad to hear that.  She looked good and was communicating very well with us.  She was nibbling on some ice chips and drinking some water.  It was nice to see her hydrating herself again.  She didn’t have anything to eat or drink yesterday because of the narcotics.

So, we press forward together as a family.  Dad looked absolutely exhausted.  It was a very rough night for him.  He didn’t sleep a wink.  He spent most of the night praying for Mom (as we all did) and keeping a close watch on her like a mother hen.  He is the strongest person I know and I’m so grateful for him.  If it weren’t for him, I think our family would have fallen apart through all of this by now.  He’s definitely the rock for our family.

So, it was a good morning for us.  Gretchen is going to call hospice and talk to them about what we really need.  Mom needs some mild pain management – like prescription Motrin – to manage her arm pain and the pain she’s experiencing from her left lung re-inflating.  It’s sore from that, as well as from all the coughing.  So, we’d like to help her manage that without narcotics.  We’ll see if hospice will honor our boundaries and Mom’s decision to keep fighting.  She’s weak and her fight isn’t very strong – but, she’s fighting nonetheless.  And, for that we’re very, very grateful.

So, like the scripture says … Joy comes in the morning.  While yesterday and last night were very, very dark, this morning is much brighter.  Thank you all so much for your prayers and good thoughts.  We’ve had over 14,000 visitors to the blog and we know there are people all over the world praying for Mom, as well as searching for answers for themselves or their loved ones.  Keep fighting the good fight of faith.  Only the Lord knows the end of the story for each one of us.

I’ll keep you posted on Mom’s progress.

Tracey

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Written by Tracey

May 14, 2009 at 10:46 am